I was lost, lost in a crowd, a sea of smiling, laughing faces,
Where I didn’t want to be, surrounded, and alone.
Whatever eased the pain, or blocked it out,
Until my gaze turned inward.
I spent some time,
Alone with me,
Looked at me,
Withering before my own eyes,
But even worse, before yours!
You watched me sink, while you were,
I’d made you think it’s what I’d wanted all those years,
I only wanted what I’d lost, squandered, threw away.
Complacent, arrogant fool!
Chaos, my life, bitterness my closest friend!
And then one day,
You reached for me,
spoke my name,
gave me hope,
called me home,
saved my soul.
You took my broken, bleeding heart, and held it close,
The old in me began to stir,
to fight against the new.
I can be good,
I can make you proud of me,
I can hope you’ll love me, once again.
Because You saw me, lost and lonely in a crowd,
And smiled at me.
In a Chapel where we shared an Angel’s smile.
It hit me like a lightning bolt, and shook me to my core.
A smile I thought I’d never see again,
A smile that lit my soul until it burned so bright and hot it seared away the cold and frozen man I had become,
And left me bare and clean and fresh and old – not new.
The older me was ever better than the new.
A little wiser, much, much quieter man.
The chaos and bravado burnt to ashes in that fleeting, welcome smile,
That second’s flash spoke of Eternity.
Eternity will not be long enough for me,
But beggars can’t be choosers much wiser men than me have said, my one and only love.
Yet I beg, grant me this,
Let me spend Eternity with You!